Monday 28 January 2013

Dusty

I have to remind myself - I'm not 20 anymore. What was I thinking?

It's now 11pm Melbourne time and I'm just starting to feel more my age (plus some) after a party last night without the kids. This was my first night out with Tim and without children where I could let my hair down, soak it in tequila and champagne, and enjoy myself at a friend's 40th. And even though I have gone through the day feeling rather grim and quite likely unable to drive until this evening, I am - in a strange way - not ashamed to have had this self-inflicted seediness today. I found the fun Lisa that I thought had disappeared. For a few hours I was not 'Mum'. I was freaking awesome.

I vaguely remember being this 'Lisa' - confident and social and laughing. These friends are relatively new friends, friends I don't share a past with, but people who I share a common ground - our kids are friends with each other. These newish friends keep my shit together. In my small daily world of feral children, nappies, school drop-offs and pick-ups, these friends are my links to the real world, adult conversation, coffee and the occasional wine. I love these people.

I tried so hard not to check my phone every 5 minutes to see if my babysitting sister had called to say she couldn't take anymore of bickering older children, tantrum chucking toddlers and an overtired screaming baby, but I did, and she hadn't. I knew this could be the first and last time my sister would mind all five of my delights. I was prepared for that. But the call didn't come, and the Champagne was beckoning. 


I'm certainly not 20 anymore.

Very dusty.


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